i’m thinking i might start wearing a cape…
in a matter of an hour or so i’ll be joining quite a few of you at the 4 rooms for some music and memories. right now i sit in my cleaned out apartment, ready-ing for moving day on monday, listening to azure ray (good music-check it out).
so, the driving force of a significant chunk of my thoughts the last week or so has been the movie batman begins. i’ve never been a big comic book/action hero guy…i don’t even know if i’ve seen more than half the previous batman movies…and i initially went to the show with my gr.12 boys as a year end party (due to rain ruined plans for arena football)…but the stimulation sparked by the movie has suprised me. i thought i’d share a little here…
the movie is about fear. this is the first idea i’ve been considering. bruce wayne has to confront his fear of bats, made even more intense by the murder of his parents, in order to find freedom in life. satan’s greatest weapon is fear. fear of the unknown. fear of death. fear of failure. fear of success. fear of anything is his tactic, his tool. yet we read in first john that perfect love casts out all fear. and in hebrews that Christ defeated the power of death on the cross. what is the power of death? basically fear… fear of the unknown, that we could die (or be hurt) any moment. jesus’ death brings life…eternal.
but i’m learning these days that satan holds over us not just the fear of death, but the fear of becoming who God created us to be – i mean, lets be honest, becoming holy is hard (its a narrow path, right?) and not easy…sin is easy – pleasure is easy…the pursuit of what we want, chasing what’s going to makes our life better, more comfortable, is easy for the most part, and feels good…but self-sacrifice, servanthood costs…it cost Christ his life…and i think we often fear actually surrendering ourselves to the power of God in our lives and His ability to set us free from subtle sin…free to live actively and tangibly building His kindgom here on earth.
i think we’re too afraid, too much.
i know i am. somehow batman has sparked this revelation in my life. that i’ve moved fear to the arena of evil, or sin – you know, “bad” stuff – because the ‘bad’ stuff is easiest to relate to fear. but i think i’ve become, blindly, more frequently afraid of what might happen if i actually let go and release my life, my dreams, my intentions, my insecurities, my failures, my love, everything that i am. the unknown – what happens if i actually let God take it all?i’m really quite selfish i guess…i’m willing to give just enough to be comfortable. but to give more…wow…that’s the unknown…its the stepping out of the boat, walking on water. who knows whats about to happen…if i just let go.
and suprisingly, or maybe not so much, i think the most frustrating realization is that this fear of letting go usually hits hardest in the small stuff. steve is stepping into the great unknown going to england, nathaniel in africa, jen in vancouver…and those steps of obedience and faith are admirable, courageous, and inspiring.but i think we usually sell out at the small daily things. scripture. prayer. generosity. taking a sabbath (its one of the big 10 commandments!!). we usually place ‘faith’ and ‘trust’ in the big decisions. but what of the routine? the mundane?
man…this post is convicting me…i’m going to work harder at being aware of when i’m slipping into a comfortable place, giving into a fear of letting go of it all, that i might become who He created me to be.
- originally posted by DT
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you\'re moving? geez i\'m out of touch. i guess if i go to beulah on sat. nites it won\'t help. crap. maybe i\'ll be free of my sunday am commitments soon and we can actually make a go of getting together like we once attempted. Fear of becoming what God wants – thats the thing. stick to that one for a while. As my friend Joel says, \"I\'m so holy its not even funny\"… but I could never dare to say it of myself. Too scared too. Most of us are afraid of failing, at least when it comes down to what really matters, and I think that anyone who really believes in this God stuff has experienced the fear of never living up to what God seems to expect of us. Thats huge. Its embedded in our psyche since childhood. We struggle to know what is expected of us and to try to measure up. I think we are held in fear of failing God. The alternative to that is what we see now: we accomodate whatever the apparent standard is around us. The status quo for christians most of life so far has been this: Try hard to be good, and when you can\'t be good, try your best to conceal it at least. Its easier if you can at least find a few friends who believe what you do, do the things you do, and conceal it together. Fear paralyzes. I\'ve found that in every walk of life. I am experiencing many of the things in life that i was afraid i would experience if i altered my perspective on God and faith etc, but I am not afraid anymore. It took a long time to do anything though. I have learned that fear is not sin. And most of all, as you said DT, that perfect love casts out fear. So i am all the more resolute that love is the only \"do\" in my life. I\'m not called to work harder at anything but love. Don\'t respond to fear, respond to love. So where you moving?
wow, good post, i too have recently felt convicted about the level of comfort, or complacency in my own life. why does it have to be so hard to pick up the cross everyday? why does the path have to be so freekn\' narrow?
glen…i desire to love, and remove all fear. but i think part of what i\'m getting at is we too easily succumb to the fear of success – what might happen if i truly love, what it might cost of me. i can\'t recall if you\'ve posted on openconversation about the cost of love. i know you\'ve spoken eloquently about living a life concentrated on nothing but love. but what does it cost us? i think that scares us most. i know that all God \'expects\' (asks) of us is to love, but i\'m at a point where i feel i need to think more about the cost involved, and what is preventing me from being/becoming \"it\" (ie. a man committed heart/mind/soul, to love). your life the last years bears the evidence of the desire to love, willing to sacrifice what i\'d assume you once understood as your \'calling\' in life, even at the cost of \'friendships\' and their understanding of you…thanks for that. and thanks for the reply.
dt… well said. i guess i did allude to some personal stuff there. i can probably add to that, in light of your words on cost, and say that you are right. Some things I think I know about life and know them to be true for everyone. Other things I really just know about me, though sure that someone can relate. Perhaps I stopped my theories on fear short of yours because of that. I have spent large portions of my life running from success. I have been told it is terribly common, but I\'ve only recently discovered it for myself. The better part of my adulthood was filled with aggressive attempts to correct a pile of embarrassing memories of being a \"quitter.\" At most crossroads in life I have had to search deep to find the most honest part of myself, to make sure that I am not running from something. What I know is this: When I feared success it was because I never truly believed in success, sucess for me. Why put yourself through the cost when it likely won\'t happen? In my faith I find that in many ways I still see myself as the same person I was years ago. I don\'t seem to believe in the riches God has for me, and i don\'t seem to be able to bear the cost to me if I want to try. Good words dt. Wise. Yes, I beat the love horse a lot, but I guess I\'m just trusting it as the rope that pulls me through all of this. I guess I\'m encountering some crossroads again, so it feels extra important to me to think through. I\'m glad for your thoughts.
oh… and I watched Sideways tonite – great film. And you asked about living the life of love, or moreso, what does it cost me? I often think that the first thing it costs is truth. Truth is humiliating to most of us. I\'ve made a life out of self-deprecating humor, so the truth about me gets passed around as the funny. Thats just another defense though. In Sideways, Miles has a moment where he discovers genuine feelings for Mia, and the immediate response is truth. That truth humiliates him, he had spent a torturous few days previous avoiding real feelings so he could avoid that truth, so he could avoid the pain and humiliation. But as is true with life, acceptance of love and eventually truth, they rebuild the man. Its beautiful. So that is answer #1 to what it costs us.
As I posted on November 25th: \\\"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won\\\'t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.\\\" Marianne Williamson
thanks paps… we can\'t be reminded of the good things enough. hope you\'re well.
Great quote paps. I too find myself often holding back the good (and the bad) in life. Sadly, treading in "luke warm". I never showed too much enthusiasm studying engineering — truth betold, I was terrified I'd flunk out most days, and kept my "whatever, schools sucks" attitude on standby. I never shared the good either, trying to be humble, but realistically fearing a 'keener' label. Two quotes I read a few days ago, by Scott M. Peck: "The basis of fear of change is laziness; it is the fear of the work we'd have to do." "Laziness is love's opposite"
good quotes RJ. I have noticed those principles alot in life, especially recently. I enjoy watching people who love alot, who are \'passionate\' about life and the things they do. They seem tireless. Those things are evident in some areas of my life, but not all. Truth is, laziness can slowly chew away at the things you love most, like a dog and your favorite shoe.