ellipsis…

i’m not quite sure what happened this week, but for the first time in my life i wanted to completely turn off the world. it’s an odd feeling, something that i would really not like to feel again. one of immanent implosion. i still feeling the affects of it. like there is someone sitting on my chest. and then there’s the feeling of constantly sinking constant anxiousness (sinking… well maybe not so much. the anxiousness could be the sitting on my chest thing too.) oh man…. i’m not a fan, not one bit! there has been some stuff that has transpired in my life over the last week, but even that doesn’t resolve this feeling. it really just amplified what was there, and brought me to a point of irrationality. another place i’m not a fan of. i’m so glad this week is almost over. i need a fresh week. blank. one hopefully without any of the residue of this past one. oh, and a good night sleep… one of those would be good too.

[update] so after a bit more thought, i’ve come to realize that most of what i am, or was, feeling is really just linked to my over anxiousness. waiting for something to happen, even if nothing is.